I'm Okay
by The Velvet Inch
Summary: Kaiba Seto had always vowed that he would never live to be as cruel as Gozaburo. But, now that he has a daughter of his own, it seems that he has gone back on his word. SetoxMai
1. Try not to wake up

Disclaimer: I don't own Yuugiou! Don't friggin sue me! lol

Rating: R. Violence. Language. Probably sex.

Summary: Seto Kaiba vowed that he would never turn out like Gozaburo, but now that he has a daughter, it seems he was wrong. How is he going to fix _that_?

Author's Notes: Okay. I don't know if it's mainly gonna be from Seto's POV, or from Rayne's POV. Rayne being the daughter, that is! Hehe. Now, erhm. In this, Seto is, like, twenty-six, and that'd make Mai like, thirty-three. So, Mai was twenty-five when they had Rayne, and now Rayne is eight. And blah blah. Anyway. Uhmn. Read and review. _Oh_! And the way that the talking is going? That's not the format for the story! --;

----------

No, no, _no_! What you're doing is _wrong_, Seto! You hear me?! Christ.. Look at me while I'm talking to you..

_There's nothing wrong about how I choose to deal with things, Mai. Now leave me alone, I have work to do.._

I want to know what happened, Seto.. You promised you wouldn't turn out like _him_..

_And I haven't - not completely, anyway! You don't see me making her parade around in some collar like a filthy _dog_, do you? You don't see me lashing out at her with whips and blades, _right_? I'm not entirely like.. he.. was, Mai. I'm not nearly half as bad._

That doesn't change the fact that you're beating our daughter! Fuck, Seto, she thinks you don't love her.. and I'm starting to think the same, too.

_Well, I _don't_, and I've made that perfectly clear to her.. I was sure I'd made it clear to _you_, as well. How many times have I told you that I don't want her--_

You're such a dumbass.

_What?_

You heard me, Seto. You're a dumbass.

_Do you have a death wish, Mai?_

You're not going to kill me. You won't - not more than you already have.

_.. you're unhappy. Look, I've given you more than enough chances to leave, Mai. You just refuse to take them.._

You've _what_? Bullshit!! Every time I _tried_ to leave you'd beg for me to stay, Seto! Look, goddamnit, I don't want to leave. I've never wanted to leave. I love you, Seto; I want to help you. Every time I've attempted to leave was only because you keep doing stupid shit that gives me no other choice.. You have a problem, Seto. Fuck. _A_ problem? You have _issues_, Seto. And I want to help you sort them ou--

_Spare me the speech. I've heard it before._

---

Rayne curled up beneath her blankets, biting her lip and trying to ignore the fighting from only two doors down the hall. Sometimes they would yell.. sometimes they'd be quiet.. but Rayne's hearing was better than she wished it was - she heard _everything_. She heard her father growl in annoyance.. heard her mother sigh, patiently. Waiting. But.. what was she waiting for? Oh. Right. She was waiting for Rayne's father to calm down.. As if that would happen! As far back as Rayne could remember, her dad had always been angry at _something_-- no, wait.. _somebody_. Rayne had always carried around this sinking feeling - a weight on her shoulders - she'd always known that the person her father was always mad with was, infact, her; the daughter; the useless mistake - Rayne.

Rolling onto her back, Rayne bit down on her lip harder, drawing blood and rather unconciously drinking it up. It didn't taste coppery. For some reason, her blood always tasted sweeter when it was voluntarily drawn, and not beaten out of her by somebody else. She slowly slid off the edge of her small bed, landing on all fours with a soft _thump_. Standing up properly, Rayne inched over to her open door, peeked her head through, and peered down the hallway; still sucking the blood from her lip.

---

Alright, Seto.. are you ready to listen to what I've been trying to tell you for the past two hours, or do you still want to argue with me?

I suppose I'll take that as a yes, then..

---

There was a far too clear shout of 'go away, I'm _trying_ to work!' and Rayne winced as she saw her mother get pushed out of the office only a few doors away, and flung against the wall beside it.

Rayne bit down on her lip again - hard. She watched somewhat angrily as her father towered over her mother - he was much too tall; Rayne found it way too intimidating, and thought it was just horrid - and whimpered slightly when her mother cowered against the wall quite visibly.

She could only really see her father's back, but Rayne could tell that he was glaring, and muttering something far to quietly for her to hear properly. Whatever he said, though, it was obviously bad, as Rayne's mother almost immediately started to plead with him.

---

No, Seto _no_! You'll wake up Rayne.. _don't_!

_Do you think I honestly give a damn about if that brat wakes up?_

Seto...

_It's _her_ fault for leaving her door open all of the time, anyway.._

You yell at her if she keeps it closed, Seto! What the hell else would you expect from her?

_More than what I'm getting._

What?

_Well, come _on_, I wasn't as goddamn weak back the--_

She's not you.

_--look, yelling is nothing compared to what I had to go through!_

---

He was doing it again.. comparing what he did to Rayne to what he'd had to live with. Rayne never understood it when he did that; she knew barely anything about her father's life.

---

Seto--

_No! Look, Mai, I don't want her to be weak like this.._

You sound like your father.

_He wasn't _really_ my father!_

Then stop trying to live up to his memory, already!

_.. Take that back._

Take _what_ back?

---

Rayne dug her teeth into her lip again, staying quiet, but wishing she were brave enough to yell at her father before he could do anything bad. She knew her mother's almost bitter sarcasm would not go without punishment.

Rayne winced when her father shoved her mother more against the wall, and curled his hand around a fistfull of her long, blonde hair.

Directing her gaze to the floor, Rayne tried to ignore her mother's muffled sob.

---

Seto, _please_ stop..

_No, you dirty, lying bitch!_

Let go of me...

_Why should I?_

.. that hurts!

_Obviously - why else would I do it?_

Just stop, already! Let me help you, Seto..

_You can't! How many times have I told you that?! I can't be helped, Mai, _ever

Yes, you _can_, you just have to let me..

_.. no._

Please, Seto; I love you, let me help--

_You _can't

-- stop hurting me, and let me try.

---

Rayne chanced a peek at her parents - her father had gone completely silent for a few minutes. She frowned when she saw that her mother had caught her father in a tight, loving embrace that he hesitantly returned. Rayne sighed, and eyed her father for a moment; he was shaking slightly, and it looked like very well could have been crying.

Ignoring it, Rayne backed into her room. Still frowning.

---

_I'm sorry.._

Shh, don't apologize--

_.. I'm so sorry.._

--it's okay, Seto. Just let me--

_You're bleeding._

--I know. It's nothing. I'll be fine.

_Why are you bleeding..?_

You hit me, Seto. That's why; but it doesn't ma--

_Sorry.._

--stop apologizing, Seto! I forgave you before this even started..

---

She could still hear them; her parents. It was quieter now, slightly muffled. They must have moved into their bedroom to continue talking. No bother. Just so long as they weren't still fighting.

It puzzled Rayne, her father apologizing so readily - saying 'sorry' more than once in one breath. It scared her. She felt like the family was falling apart at the seams..

More so than before.

Rolling on to her stomach, Rayne clutched her pillow t ightly and sobbed as quietly as she could. Pausing once, and only momentarily, to listen again.

Her father was whispering; something she couldn't hear, and haf a feeling she didn't want to, anyway. Rayne heard her mother moan, quietly, and that feeling was confirmed.

So she just went back to crying.

---

Mai bit her lip, frowning slightly and stifling another moan. She shivered every time Seto planted a kiss along the side of her neck; his hands busy getting rid of the flannel pyjama pants she was wearing - shirt already taken care of.

It was kind of stupid, really. After what he did, she shouldn't even be letting him near her, let alone slowly driving her crazy. She had to get him to calm down, though, and as twisted as it seemed to her at times, sex was the only thing that ever made Seto forget something long enough for her to try and talk to him about it. Try to help him.

Kicking the pants away, Mai clenched her eyes shut as Seto's hands made their way back up her sides - slowly; barely touching her skin. He was being gentle. It was _insane_.. He was doing hardly anything, and it was enough to make her want to scream! Biting down on her lip again - harder, this time - she tried to stifle any noise; but, not wanting to make herself bleed, she released the pressure on her lip and moaned.

She frowned slightly when Seto lifted his face away from her neck, and opened her mouth to protest. Mai was cut off, however, when Seto leaned down to kiss her properly. And it was then, in the near silence of her room, that Mai noticed something strange. A noise echoing in from the hallway. Somebody was crying.

Eyes going wide, Mai pushed at Seto's chest, trying to get him to sit up, "Seto.."

".. Mai."

"I--, _gah_! No, stop.. Seto. Get up.."

He scowled at her, but complied. Sitting up properly and fixing his shirt slightly. Eyeing Mai, and thoroughly irritated, Seto growled: "_What_?"

Ignoring the look, Mai sat up and looked out into the hallway, frowning, "It's Rayne.. You left the door open, Seto. She's awake."

"Yeah. _So_?"

Shaking her head slightly, Mai started to get up, off of the bed, but Seto grabbed her by the shoulder and held her in place.

"What are you doing?"

".. Going to comfort our daughter. What else?" queried Mai, glancing back at her husband.

"_No_."

Sighing, she shook her head again, "Please, Seto.. just let me--."

"No. I'll do it."

"I--," Mai sat down properly again; breathing, "_what_?"

He scowled, and stood up. Fixing his shirt a bit again and heading for the door, "I said I'll do it, Mai. Me."

Mai just sat there. Shocked and confused, but, most of all, she was worried. Watching Seto leave the room, she frowned, and sighed. She knew that he wasn't off to actually comfort Rayne, and there was nothing she could do about it.

---

"Why the fuck are you awake, brat?"

Rayne instantly stopped crying, as if somebody had just turned off the tap. It was a reflex. That was her father's voice. She turned over, and sat up slightly, peering at her dad through the darkness of her room. She didn't reply.

"Fine, whatever.." muttered Seto, and even though it was dark, Rayne could tell that she was glaring at her, "just go the fuck to sleep, alright? Just go to sleep, little bitch, and try to not wake up in the morning. Maybe, that way, I won't have to deal with you being in my life any more." he sounded annoyed. Worried, even, "Got it?"

Still remaining silent, Rayne just nodded and began to lay down again. Her father was out of the room - slamming the door - before her head even hit the pillow.


	2. He's never cut you before

Disclaimer: I don't own Yuugiou! Don't friggin sue me! lol

Rating: R. Violence. Language. Probably sex.

Summary: Rayne snaps a bit under the pressure that is her being alive, and Mai takes her to visit her aunt and uncle.

Author's Notes: points up Summary changes with every chapter.

----------

Rayne tiptoed down the hallway and poked her head into her parents' open bedroom door, peering quietly over at the bed to make sure her mother was the only one in it before making her way slowly into the room. Clambering up onto the foot of the bed, Rayne crawled over to curl up beside her mother and waited patiently for her to wake up.

While waiting, Rayne quietly mulled over what her father had shouted at her last night upon discovering that she had been awake the whole time, and had heard all of the fighting. She frowned, and started to rather unconciously chew on her lower lip. Normally the things her father said to her didn't really affect her much, but when he had told her to go to sleep and never wake up.. Something about that held this weird significence that she couldn't quite grasp. Shaking her head a bit, she sighed, and decided to just let it go for now. Besides, her mum was stirring beside her, and mumbling something quietly - Rayne knew that as a sign that she was waking up.

"Mama..." started Rayne - quietly, "did papa go to work already?" as Mai turned oonto her back and opened her eyes, Rayne flashed her a bit of a shaky smile, supressing a giggle at how terribly confused and obviously not completely awake her mother looked.

Mai took a few moments to let her eyes fully focus, and another few to try and wake up a bit more before responding: "No, not yet.. maybe you should go and wait downstairs, or in your room, until he does.." she urged, moving to sit up. She flinched, grimacing, and just let herself fall back down.

"Mama? You're hurt; what did he do..?"

"Go downstairs, Rayne.." her voice was soft, but she seemed worried about.. _something_.

Rayne shook her head, and bit her lip, "Tell me what he did, mama.. What happened?" shaking her head, Rayne corrected that last bit, "What did I do?"

".. You didn't do anything, honey; he's just .. not in a good mood, okay?"

".. When is he ever in a good mood?" mumbled Rayne. But she gave her mother another slight smile and sat up. Moving over to the edge of the bed and sliding off of it. As soon as she hit the floor, though, the bathroom door across from her opened. Her father stood in the doorway, fully dressed and ready for the day. He took a step forward, opening his mouth to say something to Mai, but stopped when he noticed Rayne was in the room. Stopped and scowled.

".. What the fuck are you doing in here?"

"I was just.. saying.. good morning.. to mama.."

"Bullshit.. you probably woke her up, too, you stupid fuck.. Christ," snarled Seto. Narrowing his eyes dangerously as he glared at his daughter.

Rayne didn't say anything, and when she tried to move for the door, her body wouldn't let her. It was like she was glued to the spot.. Why did that _always_ have to happen when her father was angry or annoyed with her?

"And what did I tell you last night, about not wanting you to ever wake up.." shaking his head, Seto took only two steps forward before he was standing directly infront of and glaring down at Rayne.

_Too tall.._ Rayne thought to herself. Wincing as her father grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and lifted her off of the ground slightly.

"Seto.." Mai suddenly cut in. Trying to sit up again and frowning.

".. _What_?"

Mai didn't answer. She honestly didn't know _what_.. Well, she did want Seto to stop, obviously. But there wasn't anything she could do about it, either. So she just went silent again.

".. Thought so," Seto growled. Mumbling something that even Rayne couldn't catch, let alone make much sense of.. He lifted his daughter into the air and, for once, didn't do anything _too_ bad. He merely threw the little girl in the general direction of the nearest wall and proceeded to fix his jacket somewhat; not looking even when he heard the somewhat sickening sound of a frail body making contact with a hard surface. He shrugged, and turned his attention to Mai, ".. going to work-- don't expect me back until it's late."

His wife stayed silent.

Seto left the room, stopping briefly at the doorway to glance back over his shoulder, "And tell the bitch to have a nap or something.. maybe she'll actually listen for once and stay asleep," with a disturbed smirk, he went out into the hallway and was soon out of sight. Rayne and Mai stayed completely silent; not even _moving_ until they heard the distant sound of Seto descending the stairs, and the all-too loud, somewhat echoed slamming of a door.

_Good, he's gone.._ Rayne started to pull herself to her feet, using the wall to help keep balance. She had hit both the floor and wall at a weird angle, and had a feeling that her wrist might be broken.. but that wasn't an issue, and wouldn't be until whenever she would decide to write or draw something. For what was definately not the first time in her life, Rayne cursed herself for being left-handed - she was the only one in her family that was. _I should learn to use my right hand, too.. but he'll probably find out.. and try to break both wrists next time.._

"Rayne? Rayne, honey.. come here. Are you okay?" her mother's voice snapped Rayne back to reality, and she blinked a few times, looking over to where her mother was; now sitting up, and looking like it was too much of a strain.

"Mama.. What _did_ he do?" queried Rayne, not even bothering to answer what she had been asked. Moving over to the side of the bed, Rayne pulled herself up with one hand and sat cross-legged beside - and facing - Mai.

"Nothing.. he didn't do anything. Look," Mai hastily changed the subject, starting to look a bit worried again, "do you want to go visit--"

"Theia and Theios!"

"--Victoria and Ryou..," Mai grinned, and shook her head slightly; she had never understood why Rayne always insisted on using Greek words and phrases half of the time, and then something completely different the next-- her other main preferences being Egyptian or Italian. "right. I'll take that as a yes, then!"

"Can we go _now_?"

"Sure.. sure.. just let me shower and get ready, okay..?"

Rayne nodded, smiling all-too sweetly, "Of course!"

Smiling back, Mai slowly got off of the bed, wincing visibly and seeming to test out putting weight on her right foot. Once she seemed sure about.. something or other, Mai made her way across and into the bathroom. Limping, and obviously trying to hide it. Rayne's smile faded as she watched her mother go, biting her lip and deciding to stay quiet about the blood that she could seeping through the back of her mother's shirt.

---

A half an hour later, Rayne was sitting on the counter in her parents' bathroom, swinging her legs from side to side and humming something quietly as she watched her mother brush her hair. Mai was already dressed, and in an amazingly baggy pair of pants and a hoodie-- both black. It would have surprised Rayne... maybe two or three years ago, to see her mother wearing so much.. But now it seemed just way too normal. And the reason behind it all was far too understandable. The more Seto hurt Mai the night before.. the more she would put on in the morning. Simple as that.

"Mama?"

"Hmm?" Mai half-replied, yawning a bit as she did so.

Rayne giggled slightly, smiling as she quite seriously asked, "Why isn't my hair as pretty as yours?"

Her mother raised an eyebrow, and blinked a few times while she did so; looking somewhat confused. "What d'you mean, exactly?"

"Well.. yours is all soft, and long.. and blonde.. and way curlier than mine," started Rayne, making a bit of a dissapointed face as she did so, "mine is too straight.. and it's really.. dark. I don't like having dark hair!"

Mai put her brush down beside Rayne and raised her eyebrow again, "Why don't you like dark hair?"

"It reminds me of papa," simply stated Rayne, with a frown.

This time both of Mai's eyebrows rose, and she started blinking again. "Your father's hair isn't really that dark, Rayne.."

"No," she shook her head, still frowning, "it doesn't remind me of his hair.."

"Then what?"

"Well, my hair reminds me of papa because it's black. Like his soul."

Mai sighed, and shook her her head slowly from side to side, "You shouldn't say that.."

"Why not? It's true!" the little girl shot back quickly, practically shouting. Rayne stopped swinging her legs back and forth, and just scowled. It reminded Mai of Seto, and the fact that Rayne had her father's eyes didn't make it any better.

"You just.. shouldn't say that about him, Rayne. It _isn't_ true.."

"It is too.. He has a black soul and a cold heart and that's why he's so mean to us!"

"No. No, you just don't understand what's going on.."

"I do too understand!" Rayne _was_ shouting by now, and her little hands were clenched into tight fists-- knuckles going white. "He hates us, mama! And that's why he yells and abuses us and that's why he rapes you, too!"

"Goddamnit, Rayne! For somebody so smart you can be so immature sometimes!" exclaimed Mai, one of her own hands clenched into a fist now, too. Ignoring the hurt look on her daughter's face, she didn't even bother to lower her voice as she made herself continue, "That's not at all what's wrong with your father; he just has issues, and that's why he's as.. mean.. as he can be, okay? Lots of bad things happened to your daddy when he was young, and he still hasn't found the time to deal with any of it.."

Instantly forgetting that her mother had yelled at her, Rayne tried to take this as an advantage and get some information out of her mother: "What kind of things happened to papa?"

"His father was-- wait! Why do you want to know?"

"I don't know anything about papa's past.."

"That's only because he doesn't want you to.." Mai bit her lip, "and I don't think you should know either.. Not right now, at least. There are some things you're just too young for, okay?"

Rayne started to frown again, and just sighed. Shrugging her small shoulders in defeat, and just mumbling an 'okay' before going completely silent. Mai also went quiet, and returned to brushing her hair.

They stayed like that for at least ten minutes, and Mai seemed too deep in thought to realize that she had been brushing the exact same part of her hair over and over for at no less than eight of those minutes. Biting down on her lip softly, she glanced sideways at Rayne.

"You shouldn't be so down about your hair; I think it's gorgeous.. Besides, you're just a kid and it's practically longer than mine!"

Yeah, that did it. Rayne grinned a bit, and looked back to her mother. "Yeah?"

Mai nodded, forcing what she hoped would pass for a happy smile. "Yeah."

---

".. Why did you get ready so quickly this morning, mama?" asked Rayne as the two made they got out of the car.

"No reason.. you just, um.. seemed to really want to visit your auntie," lied Mai, managing to keep a straight, honest-looking face as she did so. She hated having to lie to Rayne, but she knew that it would be a bit uncomfortable explaining that almost every single part of every single room in the mansion reminded her of all the painful things that Seto would do to her, and that she would often remain curled up on a couch or a bed somewheres while Rayne would be off reading, drawing, or anything that she didn't seem to like having her mother around for. It was always a relief to get outside and go someplace, and, after what had happened last night, Mai wanted to be out of the place as soon as possible.

Rayne eyed her mother quietly for a moment or so, before just nodding and grinning at her, "Alright!" and then, without warning, she had spun around and was racing across the lawn leading up to her aunt and uncle's house.

Breathing a silent sigh of relief, Mai closed the door on the driver's side of the car before walking around to close the passenger door as well, smiling slightly-- Rayne always forgot to shut the car door.

---

Mama was lying again.. and Rayne definately didn't like it. But, shrugging it off completely, she just grinned and ran up to her auntie's house; not wanting to deal with figuring out what was going on in her mother's mind _this_ time. Rayne purposefully kept running until she ran _into_ the door itself - her alternative for knocking - and fell over, landing somewhat roughly on her backside. She started to giggle quietly when the door opened.

"Hel-- Rayne!" her cousin, Blade, had answered the door, wand was now blinking down at Rayne as if he hadn't seen her in a very long time - which he hadn't.

Now, Blade was younger than Rayne by a month or so, but he didn't at all look it. Blade was taller for his age, and his short, dirty blonde hair greatly resembled his fathers, just kept much, much shorter; he had his mother's green eyes. Blade didn't even _look_ related to Rayne, who was almost a foot shorter than he, had pale white skin, and an extremely scrawny build-- almost looking malnourished. Her pitch-black hair fell well past her waist, and the way it liked to hang infront of her face made her seem even more pale, and dreadfully ill looking. Her eyes - perfect replicas of her father's - fit the look perfectly, and made her seem very distant. Blade looked like both of his parents, while Rayne soley resembled only one.

"You're here for once!" exclaimed Blade, happily. He reached out to help Rayne up to her feet, and blinked when his cousin rather awkwardly took his hand in her right to pull herself up. "Something happen to your hand..?" queried Blade, while raising an eyebrow as Rayne pulled her left hand into her sleeve.

"No!" was her quick reply.

Blade frowned, but nodded, "... alright, come on in, then!"

The two waited a few minutes for Mai, who had just been standing by the car, staring up at the house with a look in her eyes that was too difficult to place from their distance. When Mai finally shook herself out of whatever thoughts she might have been having, she hurried up the lawn to join both children. Giving both of them an obviously forced smile, the trio made their way inside the house and into the livingroom.

Looking around, Rayne grinned when she spotted Ryou sleeping on the couch. She giggled silently and ran over to pounce on her uncle, for a moment forgetting that her wrist had been freshly broken. Unfortunately, her left hand was the one that she used to slow most of her descent.

"Ow! OW!" losing balance, Rayne rolled off of her uncle and onto the floor, hitting the coffee table on the way down and landing on her wrist yet again. She stayed still and silent for a moment, before starting to cry. Mai and Blade both rushed over, while Ryou somehow managed to stay asleep through it all.

"What happened to her hand, auntie Mai?" asked Blade as he helped his cousin sit up properly, and tried to get her to calm down and stop crying.

Mai just stood there kind of awkwardly, biting her lip with a frown, "She.. had a bit of a nasty fall early." this response was obviously not one that Blade was about to let himself believe, and as he opened his mouth to reply, a new voice started in on the conversation.

"What did my dumbass of a brother do to you two this time, Mai?" Victoria stood in the kitchen doorway, arms crossed beneath her breasts; her long, brown hair - which pretty much fell to her feet - pulled into a low ponytail; she was frowning.

Biting her lip, Mai looked over to her sister in-law; unconciously reaching behind herself to put a hand against her lower back, and speaking quietly, "Nothing.. he didn't do anything. Why would you think he did?"

"When _doesn't_ he do something to either of you?"

"....."

"Exactly! Now, why're you holding your back?"

Mai quickly dropped her hand to her side, applying more pressure to her lip, "I'm not holding my back.."

Shaking her head, Victoria made her way across the livingroom and moved around to stand behind Mai, grabbing her by the shoulder before she had the chance to turn her back away. "You're wearing too much clothing for him to have not done something."

Rayne had stopped crying, and now she and Blade watched quietly as Victoria grabbed the hem of Mai's hoodie and pulled it up enough to reveal some of her back. Rayne thought she saw her auntie's eyes go wide before dropping the hoodie back down too fast for the kids to see what was wrong with Mai's back. Rayne frowned at this, and started to get up; Blade stayed on the floor.

"Mama.." Rayne walked over to stand beside Victoria, and took hold of the back of Mai's hoodie, "let me see.." she started to pull up a bit, and what happened next happened _fast_.

"It's nothing!" Victoria and Mai said together; Victoria grabbing Rayne's hand, and Mai jumping forward to get out of her grasp. To all of this, Rayne began to frown again.

"If it was nothing then you would let me see it!!" she yelled loud enough so that Ryou actually woke up this time; sitting up and looking confused.

Victoria gave her now awake husband a quick glance, before returning her attention to Rayne and lowering her voice softly, "Okay.. okay. It _is_ something, Rayne. But it's not something that you should see."

"It can't possibly be _that_ bad! It's not like he leaves anything other than bruises," said Rayne, starting to get even more annoyed.

"If it can't be _that_ bad, then it shouldn't be such a big deal," Victoria countered.

Growling quietly, Rayne went as if to lunge toward her mother - wanting to try and get a look at her back, again - but stopped herself when there was a knock at the front door. Everybody fell silent and turned to look.

There was a knock again, and another; and then even another. It was like a beat.

"I'll get that," Blade offered, getting to his feet and moving across the livingroom. Whoever was outside was still hitting the door, and he could hear a voice desperately trying to imitate an electric guitar. It sounded disturbingly like that song, uhm.. The Beautiful People. Blinking a few times, Blade opened the door, only to get hit in the face with what seemed to be a drumstick. He flinched, and brought a hand up to his eye. "Sara... your mother told you to stop listening to Marilyn Manson.."

The girl standing in the doorway blinked a few times, before grinning, and completely avoiding Blade's little remark, "I, um, saw Rayne and her mum show up!" she shoved the drumsticks into one of her back pockets, and rather rudely shoved past Blade and into the livingroom.

Sara was one of their neighbours, and was half a year older than Rayne; she was about as tall as her, too. Her short, blonde hair fell down just past her chin, and her pale, gray eyes were amazingly expressive.

"Uh, what's going on?" questioned Sara, looking a bit confused at all of the angry, silent faces, "did I walk in on a fight, or something..?"

Rayne shook her head, still frowning a bit, "No, you didn't." She glanced back at Victoria, and then over to Mai, only to find that her mother was gone.

"Victoria?" it was the first thing Ryou had bothered saying since waking up, and he still looked very confused, "what's going on?"

"I'll explain in a minute..," she turned her attention to the children, "Blade, could you please find something for Rayne's wrist? Rayne, go with him," she gave Sara a skeptical look, "err, you go with them, too." Victoria smiled slightly, but faltered when she saw the look on Rayne's face; quickly adding, "Mai is upstairs."

"Alright, mommy." Blade looked over at Rayne, who was about to say something, but grabbed her by her good hand and dragged her upstairs before she could. Sara skipped on after them. Upon arriving upstairs, Blade went into the bathroom to retrieve a pressure band for Rayne while the other two waited; Sara had her drumsticks out, and was tapping them against her knee, bobbing her head up and down, and humming something; Rayne was staring quietly at the door at the end of the hallway. Blade soon returned, and handed Rayne the pressure band so she could wrap her wrist up with it properly.

"I say we go play outside," said Sara, while still drumming something on her knees. She

looked up at Blade and Rayne, waiting for an answer.

"Sounds like a plan! Whaddaya say, Rayne?" when Blade got no reply from his cousin, he frowned, and waved a hand infront of Rayne's face, "Uh, Rayne?"

"Hm?"

"Do you want to go outside, or not? I mean.. we could always find something to do in here, too."

"No, that's okay.. I wanna check on mama, you two can go outside."

Sara just nodded, and bolted downstairs, tripping and falling the rest of the way when she stumbled on the fifth stair. Blade just eyed Rayne for a moment, before nodding and hurrying off to see if Sara was okay.

Now alone, Rayne just walked down the hallway and placed her hand on the door she had been watching. Frowning, she grabbed the handle, opened the door, and entered the guest room.

Mai was laying on the bed, stretched out on her stomach; she seemed to be sleeping. Rayne made her way over to the bed slowly, and climbed onto it. Moving over to kneel beside her mother, she made sure that Mai actually was sleeping before pulling up a bit on the black hoodie she wore - pausing every now and then to make sure that she didn't wake up while Rayne was doing so. Once the hoodie was up enough for Rayne to see what all of the fuss was about in the first place, her eyes widened in a way similiar to how Victoria's had. Biting her lip, and shaking her head a bit.

Clearly visible on Mai's lower back, and written in what was unmistakably Seto's handwriting, the word 'liar' was carved in, and deep enough to still be bleeding.

"Oh, mama.." whispered Rayne. Laying down to curl up beside her mother, "he's never cut you before.."


	3. Why won't you wake up?

Disclaimer: I _still_ don't own Yuugiou, y'know! :P

Rating: R. Violence. Language. Sexexexexex.

Summary: It always got like that, didn't it? Not being able to sleep without reliving what he did to you.. Mai hated it, and it was happening again. But, this time, she can't seem to wake up from the nightmares.

Author's Notes: Err.. Okay.. today's note.. um... I'm mean to Mai? Ah well, I luhv her anyway! :D kthxbye!

----------

_ Mai waited quietly for Seto to come back. She just sat there, staring at the door, and hoping he wuldn't be too angry upon returning. That was a false hope, though, and she knew it. Seto would either beat her, or completely ignore her.. But Mai was ready for that._

_ Ten minutes went by; then thirty; and then an hour. By now Mai was laying down again, staring up at the ceiling. It was getting cold, and Mai was about to get up to redress, when she heard the office door across the hallway slam. Clenching her eyes shut, Mai pulled the blankets up to her chin and continued to wait._

_ Seto's voice carried in from the doorway; it was strangely quiet, "I hope she dies, I really do." Mai could hear the sound of her husband shutting the bedroom door, and did not bother with replying._

_ "She's useless, and she was a complete mistake, anyway."_

_ Still, Mai did not say a thing._

_ "Just a useless mistake," the bed shifted slightly under a new weight, before evening out as Seto moved closer - Mai could feel him breathing against the side of her neck, and she shivered. "Tell me again why you won't let me get rid of her," it wasn't a question, or an order; Seto didn't seem to even want Mai to answer, and she wasn't really going to, anyway._

_ "What took you so long? You weren't even in her room for more than five minutes.." asked Mai; half-opening her eyes. She felt Seto shrug, and shivered when he pulled the blanket down until it started at her waist, instead. There was a moment's silence - in which Seto started to rub one of his hands along Mai's abdomen lazily - before he responded:_

_ "I had to go find something."_

_ Mai bit her lip when Seto's hand trailed higher, fingers brushing along the undersides of her breasts, and supressed a bit of a shudder. Her voice coming out somewhat shakily, ".. find what?"_

_ "Oh," and she could practically _feel_ his smirk, "you'll find out sooner or later."_

_ ".. right. And, until then..?"_

_ Seto sat up slightly - still rubbing his hand against Mai's abdomen - and rested most of his weight on his elbow; now that he was in Mai's line of vision, she was proved right about him having been smirking. He tilted his head to the side slightly - eyes looking somewhat cloudy. Seto lowered his voice to a near-growl, "What do you think?" _

_ ".. thought so."_

_ He frowned, narrowing his eyes to the point of practically glaring at Mai, yet seemed to shrug off whatever had bothered him about what she said. Getting up and moving a bit, Seto straddled Mai with his thighs, and leaned over to bring his face close to hers - holding his weight up on his elbows. He grinned down at Mai, who just stared back up at him with a blank expression. Seto began to frown again, and leaned down more-- nose pressing against Mai's, and his voice coming out in a growl again, "What the hell is your problem tonight, Mai? First you stop me because the brat was awake - not like it even mattered, in the first place - and now you're just.. not fucking saying anything..."_

_ Closing her eyes again, Mai whispered her reply, "First off.. it _does_ matter that Rayne was awake. It was you yelling that woke her up in the first place.."_

_ "No, it wasn't. She never sleeps, Mai. I swear to God that stupid kid never fucking _

_sleeps.."_

_ "She does, too."_

_ "Right.. whatever. Anyway. That doesn't explain your behavior right now."_

_ She sighed, "Look.. I'm just not in the mood, okay? Not right now, at least. I just want to go to sleep.."_

_ Seto raised an eyebrow, and smirked a bit. He held back a laugh, and shook his head slightly, "_You_ of all people not in the mood? That's a laugh.."_

_ "Ha ha; funny," Mai pushed on Seto's shoulders slightly, ".. get off."_

_ "That's the point," he smirked._

_ Sighing again, Mai gave up on trying to push Seto away, and just shook her head; opening her eyes again and not saying anything else._

_ Smirk fading, Seto's frown returned, "You honestly don't want to fuck right now.."_

_ "Bingo."_

_ Seto narrowed his eyes, "That's a first.. and, besides, I'm not going to accept that at the moment." not giving Mai a chance to say anything to that, he closed what little distance remained and pressed his lips against his wife's; kissing her somewhat roughly. He went to deepen the kiss, but faltered slightly when he noticed that Mai wasn't kissing back. Pulling way, he just.. blinked. Slightly shocked. It wasn't unusual for Mai to not kiss back when she was angry with him, but Seto had honestly thought she was bluffing this time. ".. you're not lying."_

_ Mai closed her eyes, "No. I'm not."_

_ "I..."_

_ "You what?"_

_ "Goddamnit!" _

_ Before Mai really knew what was happening, Seto had lifted himself off of her, and she was spun around to lay on her front instead. She mumbled something when Seto seated himself again, on her backside. "What the fuck, Seto?" he didn't answer, though, and there was a long silence that Mai was sure stretched on for about an hour, even if was only really a few minutes. The silence was broken by an annoyed snarl from Seto, and Mai felt something push against the small of her exposed back. Something cold, like metal. It took her mind a moment or two to process what, exactly, this might have been, and when it did she craned her neck around so quickly that she pulled a muscle, "Seto! _No_!"_

_ "No to what?"_

_ "_That_! Just don't do that!!" she pleaded. It wasn't any use, though, and Mai bit her lip and shoved her face into a pillow when she felt the cold steel begin to push into the flesh of her back._

---

"No," mumbled Mai, burying her face against her pillow and groaning painfully, "don't, Seto.. that hurts.."

Rayne watched her mother quietly, but she didn't bother to wake her up; knowing that, if she did, it would only make it worse. Nothing in their family ever made sense.. Somehow, waking Mai from the nightmare that Rayne knew was reliving what Seto had done always depressed her even more. Rayne thought it was Mai's own way of self-punishment. For what, though, she could only guess: maybe for letting herself fall into a life such as this, or for believing that she could change somebody who obviously couldn't be helped.

"What're you wr--- no! no, Seto.. stop.."

_It would be a lot better if mama didn't talk in her sleep.._ thought Rayne, sighing. She was on the verge of waking Mai up anyway, even if it was a guarantee that she'd start crying. Rayne hated it when her mother cried, because she didn't like having to take up the job of being the stronger one. _Mama's supposed to be strong for me, not the other way around..._

Mai winced, almost violently, and started to shake, "stop.."

"Mama," Rayne put a hand on mai's shoulder, shaking her a bit, "mama, wake up; you're having another nightmare." she shook her again, and when Mai didn't respond, she frowned. "Mama! Wake up, already... please?" Rayne moved her hand down, and gave her mother a sharp poke to the cut in her back.

"I-- ow!" jerking away from her daughter, Mai rolled to the side slightly, and right off of the bed. Luckily landing on her side. Opening her eyes, she just lay where she was, and didn't say anything when she saw Rayne peer off of the side of the bed, looking surprised.

"Sorry, mama! I didn't think it would hurt _that_ much.. and I had to wake you up-- you were having a nightmare.." she sounded sincere in her apology, and looked like she honestly didn't know that it would've hurt.

Mai opened her mouth to tell Rayne that it was okay, but her expression flickered from slight-happiness, to anger, and then back again before just settling on a very nuetral, yet somewhat sad looking one. Waking as painfully as she did had been a very nice distraction from what she had been dreaming about in the first place. Biting her lip, Mai could feel the tears welling up already.

Shaking her head somewhat violently, Mai clenched her eyes shut; shuddering when the only thing she could find behind them were the piercing blue of her husband's eyes as he whispered about how what had been done was what she had deserved.

---

_"A-are you.. d-done now.. Seto..? Please t-tell me that you're done.."_

_ There was a moment's silence, and then Seto's voice-- sounding so distant, even though he had his mouth right next to Mai's ear: "I'm done."_

_ "I-- g-good.. C-can.. we.. I.. what.. no.." she was shocked. So shocked, infact, that it was impossible to put words together; hell, she could barely even form a coherent _thought_ at this point. Seto had done it. It had been the first time ever, in all of the years of torture, and it had been the first time Seto had cut her. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to think. She just didn't know, at all, what to do._

_ "Hm.." hummed Seto, while sucking slowly on the sensitive skin behind Mai's ear, ".. hm.."_

_ "I-- wha..?"_

_ "You're not perfect any more.."_

_ ".. wha..?" repeated Mai. For now, that seemed to be the only thing in her vocabulary that made sense._

_ "It's why I never, ever did this before, Mai.. I thought you knew that?"_

_ ".. wha?"_

_ "You're perfect.. never wanted to ruin _that_.. but now.. Hm.. cut too deep.. it'll scar.."_

_ Mai remained silent this time, shivering as Seto began to trail kisses down the side of her neck, before resting his chin on her shoulder._

_ "You're not perfect any mo--"_

_ "Never.. was.." Mai managed to gasp out. Glad that her brain had begun to work again._

_ ".. always were. Not any more, though.."_

_ She gaped for a moment, before pushing her face against the pillow, and just mumbling into it, "Nobody's.. perfect.."_

_ "Yes.. that's true. But only because _you_ are not perfect any more.."_

_ Mai groaned quietly, and just shook her head, turning away from Seto now that she was free to move as she wished. Wincing from the sharp pains in her back. Clenching her eyes shut, Mai tried to make herself go to sleep and ignore the rambling man behind her. He was going on.. and on.. and he wouldn't stop. Mai had a feeling that it was going to be that way for at least a few hours, and he probably wouldn't notice if she went to sleep.._

---

"Mama?"

Nothing.

"Mama..?"

Again, nothing.

".. Mama.."

"Why won't you wake up..?"


	4. Mama's not going to wake up

Disclaimer: I like muffins. Oh.. and Takahashi-sama owns everybody but Blade, Sara, Victoria, and Rayne.. okay.. so Takahashi-sama doesn't own most of the people in this chapter or story. But he still owns them! ooh, and the city, too.. Yeah.. damn right. Err.. anyway.

Rating: _Muffin._

Summary: Unexpected, but still expected. Odd! Seto shows up to have a little chat with his sister.

Author's Notes: If Sara were stranded on a desert island, her only source of food would be a muffin tree! Oh, R&R, too. :P I like feedback? kthxbye!__

---------

It was raining when Seto got out of the car, but he didn't care. He hadn't even gone home after work, just went straight to his sister's place, and he had absolutely no idea that Rayne and Mai were already there.

He glanced down at his watch - it was one in the morning - and tried to figure out what, exactly, he was going to say to Victoria about what he had done. _Oh, hey. Just wanted to drop by to tell you that I've scarred Mai for life. What? No-- don't look at me like that! When I say scarred, sister dearest, I mean _scarred_.. Oh, you don't get it? Fine, guess I'll explain. I took a knife to her back, you know. Something I've never done before and never, ever wanted to do. Guess that's just too bad now, isn't it? _

Seto snorted. Yeah. As if he would go in there and say something like _that_..

Pushing some of his hair out of his eyes, Seto shook his head slightly, and just walked up and knocked on the front door. He wasn't surprised when Victoria answered the door almost right away-- he had known she would be awake, anyway.

Victoria looked annoyed at being disturbed so damn early in the morning, but when she saw who it was that annoyance in her expression quickly switched to anger. "What the fuck are you doing here, Seto?"

"Let me in. We need to ta--"

"No."

"_What_?"

"I said no, okay? Not this time.."

"It's raining, Victoria," stated Seto, narrowing his eyes slightly, "let me in.."

"Go _home_."

"I'm not going home.."

"Then go sit in your damn car. I don't care if it's raining, Seto. You're not coming inside."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Why? Because your wife, who you had the _decency_ to cut up the other night, is here, and I'm sorry if I don't want you raping her or something in my house. Okay?"

_Mai's here?_ _Obviously.._ Why the hell hadn't he considered it in the first place? They went here every other day.. "Fine.. fine. Look.. she's upstairs, right? Her and Rayne are asleep.. so just let me come in for a while. I'll stay downstairs--"

"No."

"Victoria, I _need_ to talk to you, right now.."

".. no."

"Please.." he pleaded.

"I--" Victoria hesitated, frowning and biting her lip, ".. fine. But, I swear, if you even go near the freaking stairs.."

"I won't! I'm just here to talk.."

"Alright, then.." said Victoria. And she opened the door more to admit her brother. Seto stepped into the house, and she shut the door behind him.

".. thank you."

"Don't fucking bother.."

".. right."

Victoria went back to where she had been sitting on the couch, grumbling all the way. Seto stayed back to take off and hang up his jacket, before going over to sit down in the bloodied armchair that was nearby.

"So," started Victoria, "what's so important that you just _had_ to come here and talk about it?"

"Well, you obviously know what I did, already.. so I don't have to tell you _that_.."

"What, then?"

".. I'm scared."

Victoria blinked a few times, "_What_?"

".. I'm just like _him_, Victoria.."

"Oh; and it took you - what? - eight years to figure that out?"

"No.."

"Then why are you just coming me to me and saying this _now_?"

Seto sighed, fidgeting a bit and just glaring at a particularily large bloodstain on the armrest of his chair; frowning, ".. I've never done anything _that_ bad.."

Victoria scoffed, "Oh. Right. So you're saying raping her isn't the worst thing that you could possibly do to your wife?"

He stayed silent, looking up at his sister and frowning slightly. He shrugged a bit, ".. Actually--"

"Don't you fucking say that it's not the worst thin--"

"It isn't," he cut in, quickly.

".. Bullshit. How isn't it?"

Seto started to fidget a bit again; glancing around the room this time, before answering, "She's.. used to it.."

".. Okay.. _ew_."

"I-- well.. she is.. and.. cutting her.. is.. _different_.."

Victoria shook her head, mumbling something under her breath, before raising her voice to question Seto: "Obviously. But how is it worse?"

"... I ruined her by doing that.."

".. I fail to see how raping Mai doesn't count as ruining her, as well."

Seto just went silent, and didn't reply.

"Seto..." Victoria sighed.

"I'm afraid of what I might do to Rayne, next," his voice was so quiet that Victoria had to strain a bit to hear what he was saying, but she caught all of it, and just moved closer to hear the rest of what her brother had to say. That was probably the first time Victoria had ever heard Seto actually use his daughter's name. ".. what if I.. make her do something.. like.. slitting her wrists, and draining the blood until she's filled something up.." he trailed off, shuddering and rubbing at one of his wrists as if remembering something horrible that had happened to _him_.

".. Something like a metal garbage bin?"

Seto looked up at Victoria, slightly shocked for a moment. _Oh.. right.. he made her watch.._

Sighing again, Victoria got to her feet and walked over to stand infront of Seto, frowning, "You won't do that.."

".. who knows."

Victoria shoved her scrawny sibling over a bit so she could squeeze in to sit beside him. "You won't."

".. You'd better be right."

"When am I ever _not_ right?"

"Almost always."

".. Oh, shut up.." Victoria mumbled, and was rather shocked when Seto actually _did_ go quiet.

The two sat in silence for a good fifteen minutes; Seto rolling up one of his long sleeves so that he could scratch irritably at his wrist; Victoria tugging absently on a few strands of her long hair and staring at the coffee table. The taller sibling mumbled something, and Victoria glanced over in his direction; eyeing what she could see of his heavily scarred right arm, "You did all of those ones yourself?"

Seto looked up and over to his sister, shrugging a bit with his reply, ".. Yeah." Victoria frowned, and opened her mouth to say something else, but Seto got there before she did: "And don't you goddamn lecture me or something, Victoria.. The only reason I have more scars than you do is because most of them were done by somebody else."

".. I don't do that any more, you know.."

"I know."

"Good." she slipped an arm around her brother's shoulders, and leaned into his side a bit. "And if _I_ can get better.. you can, too, alright? Just.. give it time."

"I _have_ been giving it time.."

"Give it a little more? I mean.. other than last night.. you've been doing a helluva lot better.."

Seto scoffed, sniggering a bit, "You sound like Ryou.."

".. Shut up."

"But you're right."

"I know."

"For once."

Victoria rolled her eyes, and smacked Seto upside the back of the head, grumbling, "Aren't you gonna thank me, or something?"

"Nope."

".. Thought so. Look, you can sleep on the couch tonight."

Seto went quiet for a moment, before just flinching, ".. I'm too tall for that goddamn couch.."

"It's either that or the floor, Seto, because you are _not_ going upstairs."

".. Fine. I'll take the couch."

"Good," Victoria pulled her arm away, and started to get up.

"And Victoria?"

She stopped. "What?"

"Thanks.."

Smiling slightly, Victoria stood up completely, and just nodded. Seto stood up as well, and Victoria was shocked when he suddenly pulled her into a hug. Blinking a few times, she muttered against her brother's chest, "You're welcome." and returned the embrace.

---

Watching quietly from the top of the stairs, Rayne scoffed, and just shook her head-- scowling. How could her aunt believe anything that her father said? Why the hell did she even let him inside, in the first place? Should have left him out in the rain.. And why the hell was papa comparing himself to that ever elusive '_him_' again? Gah.. Rayne shook her head, _too many questions.. I should just go check on mama. Maybe she woke up._

Sighing, the little girl just turned, releasing the deathgrip she had on the stair's railing, and starting off down the hallway. Scratching wrist - which, unbeknowst to either of her parents, was already rather harshly cut up, anyway - and reaching out to open the guest room door. Her hand was mere centimetres from the doorknob, when the voice of her aunt stopped Rayne:

"Still can't sleep?"

Rayne let her hand drop to her side. Shrugging slightly, and not turning to face Victoria as she replied, ".. No. I never can. You know that.."

"Yeah, yeah.. I know. Look, your father is here, and he's gonna be sleeping downstairs.. Whenever she wakes up, you ought to tell Mai that, too. Okay?"

"I already knew he was here," Rayne turned to look up at her aunt, frowning and chewing on the inside of her lip, "and I wanna know who you were talking about."

Victoria blinked, and one of her eyebrows rose, "You were listening in again?"

".. When don't I?"

"Good point," smiling slightly, Victoria just shook her head, "and I can't tell you; not yet, anyway. You know that."

"When _can_ you tell me?"

".. I'm not sure. Look, I'll talk to Seto about it, okay?"

".. that's what you said last time."

"I know it's what I said last time," she sighed, "but I mean it. Okay?"

Rayne turned back to the door again, reaching out and opening it, ".. fine."

"Goodnight, Rayne."

".. Mama's not going to wake up."

"I.. know that.."

".. Okay," Rayne went inside the guest room, "goodnight, then." and shut the door quietly behind her. Victoria just sighed, and left to check on Blade and Sara before going to bed, herself.


	5. Tainted Love

Disclaimer: I think we went through this a few times already. I don't own Yuugiou! And I don't own Marilyn Manson-- or Softcell, for that matter.. Oh screw this. I don't own the song used in this chapter, okay? Okay! Woo!

Rating: Still muffin! (Muffin R)

Summary: Trapped in a dream.. not able to wake up.. _again._

Author's Notes: I'm mean to Mai. I love this song, and hey! Somebody new who people keep bugged me about.. omg.. he's here already so shush. :P

----------

She was mildly aware of everything going on around her-- not that 'everything going on around her' was much of of anything at all. Every half an hour or so, she'd more see than feel the girl leaning over her and asking quietly why she refused to wake. Her eyes may have been clenched as tightly shut as possible, but, for some reason, she could still see the outlines and some minor details of everything that was in her line of vision. The ceiling, and the light(which glowed a ghastly pale green) and a very small bit of a corner of the nightstand; and, of course, her daughter, who refused to go to sleep, and instead remained to watch quietly.

It was strange - Rayne never sleeping, that is - Mai couldn't remember the last time she had seen her daughter not completely wide awake, and it disturbed her. People had to sleep, if people didn't sleep, they couldn't function properly, right? Right. So why was it that a tiny girl of eight years never seemed to rest, _ever_?

Sighing, Mai tried to roll onto her side to get more comfortable. But, in doing so, she became suddenly aware of the fact that she _couldn't_ sigh, and that she _couldn't_ move, for that matter.. It was as if her bones had been switched with a cement that refused to budge, and as if her nose had been closed off(as she couldn't get her mouth to open) so that she couldn't make any noise. Yet she could still blink(mentally, at least), and she was still _aware_. Aware of everything around her.

Definately one of the weirdest things ever to happen to her yet..

----

An hour and a half later, Mai was again aware of her daughter leaning over her and whispering quietly to see if she was okay. This time, though, the words didn't seem to come out clearly, and it sounded like a completely different voice from Rayne's warily quiet one. It was.. deeper, and sounded far more masculine. The words stayed scrambled for a while, before slowly starting to make sense.

"I love you so much, you know that..?"

With a sudden shock that hit her whole body and felt like electricity, Mai was suddenly _aware_ of her eyes being wide open, and staring up at a pair of blue; framed by dark brown hair, and much cloudier than usual. It took every bit of willpower that Mai had to not just scream and run, because _it_ was happening again. She was remembering things, and it was scaring her. Sometimes she would remember something good, and sometimes she would remember something dreadfully.. bad.

Seto's voice was dangerously low as he spoke again, ".. more than anything."

"More than anything?" repeated Mai, without really thinking about what she was saying. Sometimes she'd have control of it, and sometimes she wouldn't. She supposed that this was one of those times where she couldn't speak on her own, and decided to concentrate more on where she was.

"Mmmhm..," Seto hummed, practically purring, as he nuzzled his cheek against Mai's-- making her shiver. Again, she became aware.

Looking around slightly, Mai just nodded and smiled, not saying anything. They were at home, obviously, and in their room. Mai sighed quietly, and, suddenly, she was in control and completely aware of every feeling from that moment from lord knows how long ago. She shifted slightly, to get comfortable, and bit back a moan when she realized that she was pinned beneath a completely naked Seto, and that she herself was devoid of any clothing. Despite how incredibly.. warm.. she was, Mai started to shiver, and almost whimpered in disappointment when Seto lifted his head back up to look at her properly; his voice full of something that could at least _pass_ for concern, as he asked:

".. Is something wrong?"

"Hmnh.. what? No, Seto. Nothing's wrong."

_Sometimes I feel I've got to,_

_Run away._

_I've got to, _

_Get away._

".. I think you're lying," he breathed, leaning down and brushing his lips against Mai's momentarily, ".. and that you should tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong, Seto," Mai stated, before asking, as a bit of an afterthought, "Why would I lie to you about something like that?"

"Ooh..," he pushed his body down and against Mai's, raising an eyebrow at her, and smirking slightly when she started shivering again, "but you've lied to me so many times before."

Mai remained silent, biting her lip. _And this is where the bad bit starts.._

_From the pain you drive, _

_In the heart of me._

_The love we share,_

_Just seems to go nowhere._

_Oh, I've lost my light;_

_And I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night._

Seto sat up slightly, pushing down on Mai's shoulders and growling quietly, "And about so many things, too.."

"Seto.. don't."

"Don't _what_?" Seto sneered, "I never said I was going to do anything, did I? But.. now that you mention it.."

Mai grabbed at Seto's wrists, and tried to pry them off of her shoulders; wincing when all that she succeeded in doing was making him tighten his grip. She shook her head, closing her eyes halfway, and pleading quietly, "Please.."

"No."

_Once I ran to you, (I ran)_

_And now I'll run from you._

_This tainted love you've given; _

_I give you all a girl could give you.._

_Take my tears,_

_And that's not nearly all._

Leaning down again, Seto opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by a hopeful, "Big brother? Are you and Mai awake?" scowling, Seto bit down on Mai's lower lip and growled quietly, before letting go of her and getting up. Grabbing a pair of his pyjama pants and just putting those on before going to answer the door. Not really caring if Mai wasn't dressed yet, or not. Sighing, she just grabbed at the blankets and pulled them over to cover herself. Waiting quietly.

"What do you need, twerp?"

_Tainted love.._

_Tainted love._

The boy smiled up at his brother, and asked quietly, "Could you help me with something, Seto?"

".. Can't it wait?" asked the older of the two.

"No. This assignment is due tommorow..," Mokuba started, "and I really need to get it done, and all.." even though she couldn't see him clearly, Mai could practically feel it when the younger boy did his little puppy dog eyes routine.

Seto hesitated, and glanced back over his shoulder at Mai, who sighed, and shivered slightly again. Frowning, he looked back over to his brother, nodding. "Fine. Fine..," he agreed, "I'll help. But I'm only going to give you about ten minutes of my time. I'm.. busy."

Mokuba peeked around his brother to look in at Mai. He smiled reassuringly, and just kind of nodded to her - knowing perfectly well what was going on between her and Seto - before looking back up at his brother, and grabbing his wrist to drag him out of the room, "Let's go, then!"

_Now I know I've got to,_

_Run away._

_I've got to,_

_Get away.._

Throwing the blankets to the side, Mai rolled off of the bed and stood up properly. Wandering over to the dresser, and not really paying attention to whatever it was she was pulling out of the drawers. She had to leave.. if not forever, then at least for a little while.

Mai blinked a few times when she noticed that the clothing she had retrieved was a pair of Seto's boxers, and one of his black turtlenecks, but she didn't want to waste any time to get something else, and just got dressed. Nothing exactly fit perfectly, but it was really better than not having anything.

Rubbing one of her shoulders, Mai exited the room, looking around for no real reason, before just making her way down the hall and going downstairs. Upon stepping down into the main foyer, Mai shivered, and cocked her head to the side, glaring at the wide entranceway that lead into one of the living rooms. It was stupid.. it was fucking absurd.

Why was Seto already there?

_You don't really want any more from me,_

_To make things right,_

_Need someone to hold you tight.._

_And you think love is to pray--_

"Leaving so soon?"

_--but I'm sorry,_

_I don't pray that way._

Eyes widening, Mai just stared; shocked and confused-- how the hell did he get away from Mokuba so fast? Shivering again, the blonde shook her head, and bit her lip; stumbling over her words, "I-- .. no..? I'm not.. going.. a-anywhere.. Seto.. What--" she took a step or two back when she saw the look on her husband's face, ".. what are you going to do to me?"

His grin was twisted, and his words sounded equally so: "Again.. Who said I was going to do anything to you? But, you know.. since you keep bringing it up.." in simply five long strides, Seto had made his way across the foyer, and stood directly infront of Mai, who took another two steps back, and tripped on the bottom stair; landing sprawled across the last few stairs and most of the landing. "Since you keep bringing it up..," repeated Seto, narrowing his eyes, ".. you really should stop giving me ideas."

Mai pushed herself up so she was sitting, at least; her eyes darting back over in the direction of the living room. Maybe she could make a break for it?

_Once I ran to you._

Quickly jumping up to her feet, Mai shoved Seto back - catching him off guard, and making him stumble backward and fall flat on his ass - she bolted for the other room.

_Now I run from you._

"Goddamn bitch-- Mai!!" the shouting followed Mai into the living room, and momentarily distracted her. She ran headlong into one of the couches, and tumbled over the back of it; hitting the cushions at an unfortunately wrong angle, and going the rest of the way; hitting and breaking through the glass coffee table, before finally reaching the floor. And after that, she didn't bother trying to get back up again.

_This tainted love you've given,_

_I give you all a girl could give you.  
Take my tears,_

_And that's not nearly all._

She wasn't sure which hurt more.. the shards of glass sticking through her skin and clothing.. or the fact that she had started to cry.

_Tainted love.._

_Tainted love._

"Very smart, Mai. I'd give that a 10.5, at the very least," muttered Seto as he made his way around the couch, and glared down at his wife. "You just keep getting better and better at trying to run away, don't you?"

Well, that certainly made up her mind-- the sarcasm hurt more than both glass and tears.

"What now, Mai?" he whispered, leaning down and grabbing Mai's arms; pulling her up to her feet, "Going to give up, or should I let go so you can attempt to get away again? Not that you'll make it very far.. You'd probably trip over something else."

It wasn't like he'd honestly give her a choice, anyway..

Seto threw Mai back against the couch, and moved quickly to straddle her so she wouldn't be able to move. Smirking, he moved in to kiss her, and didn't bother stopping when she didn't start kissing back. Mai shivered beneath him, and he payed no attention to it; forcing Mai's lips open with his own, and muttering something quietly. She growled; and when she bit down, sharply, on Seto's tongue, he pulled away and brought one of his arms around to backhand her.

Mai's head jerked to the side, and she just narrowed her eyes. Facing Seto again to spit her blood in his face; but he just smirked, and raised an eyebrow. Honestly.. she'd never understand how all of this turned him on so damn much.

"Fighting back, are we?" he exclaimed, rather than questioned, sounding far too happy about it all, too, "You haven't done _that_ in a long time.." his hands slid down along Mai's arms, grabbing and pinning her wrists to her sides. Still smirking, Seto pushed himself closer, and nuzzled his face against Mai's throat. "You know how much I love it when you do.."

_Don't touch me, please._

_I cannot stand the way you tease.._

_I love you, though you hurt me so.._

"Seto.. just.. stop.."

"No."

_But now I wanna pack my things, and go._

Seto let go of one of Mai's wrists, and his hand slid up under the sweater she wore; pressing against and starting to lightly rub Mai's abdomen. He lifted his head up slightly - breath hot against Mai's neck and ear - and muttered: "You're so fucking hot when you wear my stuff.."

"Hmph..," she scoffed-- unwittingly letting herself start to feel safe again, "you say that as if I'm not hot all the time."

"Hn.. good point."

Mai grinned somewhat, "No.." she pushed herself upward slightly; slowly rubbing her body against Seto's; shifting a bit with what little amount of movement she could manage in her position; grinding against Seto's arousal as best as she could-- once. He grunted, and her grin switched to a smirk, "_That _is a good point."

He just growled-- his alternate means of calling Mai a bitch.

"Aren't I, though?"

_Touch me baby, tainted love.._

_Touch me baby, tainted love.._

_Touch me baby, tainted love,_

_Touch me baby, tainted love!_

Seto's somewhat gentle massage suddenly changed, and he was roughly rubbing his thumb along Mai's abdomen, now. Hard enough to start bruising right away. Mai flinched, and tried to pull away, completely forgetting that there was no way for her to do so.

_Once I ran to you,_

_And now I run from you._

_This tainted love you've given;_

_I give you all a girl could give you.._

"Seto.. stop it," Mai murmured, wincing again and trying to force Seto off of her, "please.. just _don't_.."

"Don't stop, you say?" he grinned; and Mai glared:

"Goddamnit, Seto! You know what I meant!"

Seto shrugged, and began to tug up on Mai's top; still grinning as he spoke, "Yeah. So?"

"Seto, stop!" shouted Mai, grabbing at Seto's shoulders again, and giving him antoher hard shove. When he wouldn't budge, she just gave up, and decided to angrily repeat herself-- shocked to find that she wasn't the only one yelling:

"Stop it, Seto!"

"You're hurting her!"

Muttering, Seto let go of Mai's sweater, and quickly punched her in the stomach, before just letting go completely and getting to his feet. He turned to look at Mokuba, who was standing by the arm of the couch, and snarled, "I know, and that's why I was doing it." glaring quickly at both his little brother, and then his wife, Seto turned again, and left.

_Take my tears,_

_And that's not nearly all!_

"I wish he loved me as much as he does you," whispered Mai, as Mokuba crawled over the arm of the couch to see how badly she had been hurt.

Mokuba sighed, and wrapped his arms around his sister in-law'sshoulders, pulling her over to hug her tightly, "He loves you more than he loves me," stated he, before adding, as a bit of an after thought, "or Victoria. He just hurts you, because he's afraid you'll stop loving him and leave, and he's trying to scare you into staying."

"Bullshit."

"I know it is. But I'm not joking when I say that he loves you more than anything, Mai."

Mai pulled back slighty, and searched the gentle, gray eyes of the concerned boy holding her. She bit her lip, and nodded, before leaning against him again; agreeing silently, before letting out a tired sigh.

_Tainted love.._

_Tainted love._

_Tainted love,_

_Tainted love!_

---

"Wake up."

She stirred slightly, and managed to mumble quietly. She couldn't see, which didn't make much sense for a few minutes, until it finally hit her that she must've actually woken up, and gotten out of that simple state of.. awareness. Her eyes were merely closed, but she still couldn't open them. Not yet. They felt like lead weights..

".. Wake up.. Come on.."

She tried to sit up, but simply couldn't; she didn't have the strength to do it. Wincing, Mai leaned back against the pillows again, and went back to trying to open her eyes. Fortunately, she succeeded. Unfortunately, the set of blue eyes that waited for her were not those of her daughter's.

"Mai?"

Mai groaned quietly, and clenched her eyes shut again. Mumbling under her breath, but loud enough for Seto to hear: "Why.. the hell.. are you over here?"

"I'm not."

".. I'm too fucking tired to understand that.. Elaborate."

"Well..," he started to explain, "If by 'over here' you mean at Victoria's house.. I'm not here. You're at home, Mai."

"Why the shit?" she blinked.

Seto frowned, and bit his lip. He just lowered his voice a bit, starting to sound honestly concerned, "You've been asleep for the past two weeks."


	6. Sweetest Goodbye

Disclaimer: Same as it was a year ago!

Rating: R! Though it's actually earning that rating a bit more now.

Summary: Nightmares, apologies and.. murder?

Author's Notes: I just haven't written this in like a fucking bajillion years.. . Anyway, here it is. And even though it's longer than any of the other chapters, I still feel that it's rather whore.. but I'm also a loser, so whatever. Here you go. Ignore any mistakes, as I'm a very horrid editor.

----------

The water.. it was so dark, murky.. it had to be the dirtiest water she had ever seen, let alone been in. It reached up past her head, and she could barely break the surface, no matter how hard she tried.

She was mad at her mother.. mad at her mother for doing what she had done; but she still loved her.. How could she not love her mommy? Mommy did all sorts of bad things, but she'd always be forgiven.. It was daddy who had to be stopped.. daddy didn't love them.. She had to break the surface, so she could go home to mommy, and take her far away from daddy. It was the only way!

Her breath came out in ragged gasps when she was finally able to bring her head above the water, and she gulped in air great fully. Reaching around in the darkness for something to grab onto to keep herself up, this time. Her hands only met cold, rough, stone walls, but she dug her nails in where she could and clung to it anyway.

_Why did you do it, mommy? Why did you have to be so cruel.. I was being good.. I'm a good little girl.. I'm not bad like daddy and that other man in the white jacket says.. I'm really not.. I'm a good little girl.._

She whimpered, and clawed at the stone she clung to. Trying to fight her way up it, so she could just get _out_.

_I won't hurt you any more, mommy!_

One of her nails snapped off at it's base, and she cried out in pain. Losing most of her grip on the wall, she slid down the tiny way she had managed to climb, and screamed again when another two of her nails were taken on the way down.

She hit the icy water with an utterly silent splash and slowly slid underneath. Not fighting to get back up again; just slowly sinking.

_Why did you do it..? I-- no.. not any more.. I won't.. I won't depend on it.. you won't come and save me, mommy.. you don't care if I'm being a good girl.. but no.. now I'll be like they say I am. I'll be the bad little girl.. everybody's afraid of.._

She continued to slowly sink downward until she hit the bottom. When she did, her brown eyes snapped open, and she just glared upward through the dark water.

_I hate you, mommy.. and I hate daddy, too.. Because of what you all did.. because of it--_

---

Rayne woke up screaming, and sat up so quickly, and so damn straight, that her back cracked insanely. Her blue eyes wide, she stared around her dark room quietly; _waiting_.

She didn't sleep often, in fact she never really slept at all. It was very rare for Rayne to find a moment of quiet to herself where she could actually force herself into the rest she knew she could function without.. but it was so freaky.. not having to sleep. Rayne didn't like being abnormal.. papa already thought she was some kind of defect as it was, without having to deal with the no sleeping thing, too.

So she would cover it up as best as she could.. go to bed when she was told, and pretend to sleep.. She was positive that nobody knew about her problem, and the nobody ever would. Well, not for a long time, at least.

There was something she dreaded about actual sleep, though.. something horrible. Whenever she _could_ get herself to sleep.. she had these.. dreams. It was like she was having visions.. but not of something to come; it felt more like something that had already passed.

It was always the same dream, too.. with the dark place.. the angry thoughts.. and not being able to escape. It made her feel like she was going crazy.

Rayne had often considered telling her mother about the dream, but she would probably just laugh, shrug it off, and tell her that it was only a dream. That it was nothing. But if it was nothing, why did Rayne always hear that sickeningly kawaii voice of an angry little girl even after she was awake? Whispering.. always whispering:

_"Everyone will suffer.."_

Rayne shivered, and hugged herself tightly; clenching her eyes shut, and trying - as she did every other time - to just ignore it. Whatever _it_ may be..

---

Seto shut the bedroom door behind him, and made his way down the hallway, rubbing his temples. Shaking his head, he slowly made his way through the mansion and to the kitchen, where he found his daughter sitting quietly at the table. She was staring down at a bowl of rather soggy looking cereal. Frowning slightly, he slowly walked up behind Rayne, and stared down at the cereal as well. The little girl didn't seem to notice him. Not yet, at least.

"Rayne?" he whispered, and she practically jumped out of her chair when he did, before going completely still and not saying a thing. This made Seto frown, "Rayne? What are you doing?"

"N-nothing, papa.. n-nothing at all..," she stuttered in reply.

Seto sighed, and went over to the fridge, "Whatever you say, then.."

Rayne fell totally silent.

After pouring himself a glass of water, Seto went back over to the table, and sat down beside Rayne, who visibly flinched when he did. And this made his earlier frown deepen, "Don't be so fucking jumpy. It's annoying."

"S-sorry.."

"And stop fucking stammering like a retard, too. Christ.."

Silence.

Another frown, before he asked, "What happened with your mother before she passed out?"

Again, silence.

"Answer me, you stupid little bitch!" Seto practically yelled, and slammed his glass down on the tabletop.

Rayne instantly pushed her chair out of the way, and almost fell out of it while getting to her feet. She stared wide-eyed at her father, before opening her mouth to very, very quietly ask: ".. why do you want to know?"

Rising to his feet disturbingly slowly, Seto glared down at his daughter. "Don't answer my question with another question, you insolent little wretch.. Just tell me what happened with your mother."

"I don't know."

"Bullshit!" he laughed hoarsely, "You fucking know _everything_ about that cunt.. You're around her almost twenty-four fucking seven. Now _tell me_."

"I.. I honestly don't know, papa.." and she looked like she didn't know, either. But Seto wasn't about to acknowledge the expression on her face. Not any time soon, at least.

He scowled, "So.. if you're lying, and you _do_ know what happened.. I'm going to kick your ass, and you know it. But, if you _are_ telling me the truth, and you have no idea.. I'm going to kick your ass anyway for not keeping an eye on your mother. Now, decide whether or not you're gonna be honest with me, Rayne, because it's lose-lose for you either way."

Again, she fell silent.. But this time it looked as if she were thinking over her options. She apparently took too long to think, as Seto was soon up on his feet again, just glaring at her.

"Never mind," he growled, just leaving her sitting there, hoping that her mama would wake up soon so that she wouldn't have to deal with her father as much.

---

Getting out of bed proved to be quite the difficult task for Mai, who had just fully woken up after dozing off when Seto had left the room. Her arms and legs felt like lead... It was as if she had been in a coma for the past week. Oh.. wait. She had.

"Goddamned..," grumbled Mai, as her most recent attempt at pushing herself into a sitting position with her arms failed horribly. She was far weaker than she should be for somebody who was only out of it for seven days, but... Mai wasn't really paying attention to that much detail. Again, she tried to shove herself up into a sitting position, and upon failing once more, she opted for just rolling off of the bed, and onto the floor. Hoping somebody would hear the disturbingly loud 'thud' and come to help her.

So, there on the floor, she waited... And she waited... Oh, she waited a good three hours without somebody coming to help her. After that, though... She waited some more. At least an hour more, before just deciding that maybe a little bit more rest would help... She went back to sleep, and woke up one day later.

This time, when she tried to get up, she was greeted with much more success, albeit unexplained success, but success nonetheless. Pushing herself up to a sitting position, she used the nearby dresser to pull herself to her feet. Upon doing that, she began to open the dresser drawers to find a better pair of pajamas to wear... Every single drawer was empty, save one, which contained one pair of exactly what she was looking for. Mai slowly undressed, and changed into the clean clothes... She then stumbled her way over to the door, and out into the hallway.

Once out of the room, she looked up and down the hall, and was a bit shocked to find that she had been staying in one of the guest rooms down on the main floor of the mansion. She found it odd, but didn't bother to think about it any further. Deciding to head for the kitchen, to at least get some food, she stumbled off in that direction. And a good meal, one shower, and three hours later she was feeling very much refreshed, and a helluva lot stronger than when she'd woken up.

---

Making her way upstairs, Mai was rather intent on finding out where Seto had gone off to, seeing as she was pretty sure it was one of his days off. Upon reaching the upper hallway, she was somewhat shocked and confused to find a piece of paper spread out across the floor, with an arrow pointing in the direction of hers and Seto's room, and a bit up from that one, there was another paper arrow.. And then another, and another. Intrigued, she decided to follow the trail, which-- after about five or six arrows-- changed into a thin path of red rose petals.

Cheeks going slightly red as she reached the closed bedroom door, Mai reached out for the doorknob and put her hand on it, but didn't open the door. Not just yet, at least. Not while she was still trying to figure out what, exactly was going on, as this certainly wasn't something that had happened before... So, seeing as Seto was the only person who could have done this, it was just strange-- utterly strange and confusing.

Taking in a deep breath, and trying to ignore the fact that her face was now very hot, Mai turned the knob, and opened up the door to be greeted by...

Complete darkness.

And then lights far too dim than should be as she reached out to the right and flicked the light switch on; soon hoping that she hadn't, because before her was something that she never, ever would have expected in this lifetime, or any other.

Before her, the trail of roses led toward the bed-- which was decked out in what had to be the finest black satin sheets and bedspread in the entire mansion-- and were scattered rather lightly across the blanket, as well. Seto was sitting on the bed, leaned up against the headboard, reading one of his favorite American books-- something by Thomas Harris.. Red Dragon, perhaps-- and wearing nothing but his black pajama bottoms and a pair of glasses. He didn't seem to notice Mai was even there; that is, until she let out the breath that she had been holding in.

"Are you surprised?" he asked, looking up with a smile that sent one amazingly cold shiver down her spine.

She was nearly speechless, but she managed to nod and ask with a bit of difficulty, "Should I not be?"

Seto shook his head, and put his book down on the bedside table as he got to his feet, laughing quietly, "No, you should be. At least, Im hoping you are." He started to make his way toward Mai, but made a stop at the stereo, digging through some CDs. "I hope you understand English."

Recognizing the CDs as Rayne's, Mai shook her head, "No. I don't," she lied.

"Well," breathed Seto, "that's a pity." After a few more minutes fiddling with some CDs and the stereo, Seto pressed play, and started to grin lightly when a song that Mai recognized started up: it was a song by some American band-- Maroon 5-- called Sweetest Goodbye. She didn't know the lyrics, but it was still a familiar song for her.

"Seto..," she almost hesitated, before asking, "... What are you doing?"

"I'm apologizing," was the simply reply that made Mai's stomach twist. Seto walked over to Mai, stopping in front of her. She shivered when his arm snaked around to shut and lock the door, and stared at the ground-- feeling unexplainably embarrassed.

"Apologizing?" she repeated, trying to keep her voice level and fighting back the colour that was once again rising in her cheeks. Seto nodded, and Mai forced herself to frown, "How do I know that you won't hurt me again?"

He sighed, shrugging, "You don't," he said, "because I haven't said that I'm not going to; but I can tell you that I'll try."

"Trying isn't good enough," she mumbled loud enough for him to hear. He moved closer, and Mai had to tear her eyes away from his chest, looking off to the side instead-- she was not allowed to stray off track; not now that she had the chance to talk to him about all of this.

"I know it isn't," he agreed, "and you know that it's the most I can do."

Mai closed her eyes, shaking her head, "You can do more than try.."

"No," Seto calmly argued, "I can't."

She kept her eyes clenched shut, "You can.."

"No," he whispered, and Mai almost jumped when she felt his breath hot against the side of her neck; with her eyes closed, she hadn't noticed him lean down. "I can't."

This time, she didn't bother arguing, just stood completely still, trying to ignore how much she wanted to jump Seto at this time. She did her best to keep her thoughts as far from the way he was breathing against her neck as possible, and turned her attention to focus on the music that was playing in the background-- although she knew English, she couldn't seem to make out one word of what the lyrics to the song was, and she muttered in annoyance, albeit incoherently.

"What was that?" he asked, and Mai's attention was yanked away from the song that she couldn't understand and back to Seto, who practically had his body pressed against hers now; they weren't even touching, but she could feel the heat radiating from him.

She took more than a moment to responded, "Nothing," she grumbled; unconsciously taking one step forward to push herself closer to him. He grinned, and the only reason that Mai could notice it was because Seto's lips were now pressed against the patch of sensitive skin behind her ear-- she felt like she was going to melt.

"It sounded like something," he said, and Mai jumped slightly when she felt his lips moving.

Her face was starting to get even more red, if that was humanly possible.. and she wondered just why in the hell she was even being so awkward.

"You're nervous," he pointed out, and Mai found herself nodding in agreement, "Why?" he asked.

"I'm.. waiting for you to hit me," she lied.

"No you're not. I meant 'nervous' as in you're blushing," Seto clarified.

"I am not!" she protested, now getting even more embarrassed about the fact that he'd noticed.

"You are. I can feel it."

"Right.." she said-- of course he could feel it, her whole damn body was burning by now. Seto didn't say anything else, and Mai also fell silent-- they stayed like that for about ten minutes before he spoke up:

"You can leave me if you want. I won't try and stop you this time." he took a step back, and now that Mai could clearly see his face, it was obvious that he was worried-- calm, but worried. _Probably worried about my answer,_ she thought.

"I might," said she, and the look that flickered across Seto's face confirmed her suspicions, "I probably will."

"Well," he started only somewhat shakily, "I don't blame you."

"I don't blame me, either," she frowned, "I'm going to bed-- I'll sleep in Rayne's room."

She hadn't even started to turn around when Seto stopped her, "No," he put a hand on her shoulder, and she felt her whole body shake when he did, "stay here tonight. Please.."

"Seto, I can't.." she knew what would happen if she slept in here with him.. well, she probably wouldn't even get around to sleeping. As much as she wanted him right now, she just couldn't take the risk of being in his arms in the morning and wanting to stay.

"You _can_," he persisted, turning halfway to face the room and making a wide gesture with his arm "I did all of this.. we can't just let it go to waste, can we?"

"It's beautiful, it really is.. but.. I just can't. Not now."

He turned back to her, "Mai, I'm begging you.." he sounded so _desperate_.

"I don't care if you're begging, you can't change my mind about this."

"I can.."

"You _can't_."

"Why not?" he asked, not giving Mai enough time to actually respond before kissing her. For what had to be the billionth time that night, she froze up entirely. "I love you," he mumbled before kissing her again, and this time she responded: slipping an arm around Seto's neck and parting her lips when his tongue begged entrance.

Seto soon had her pinned back against the door, and his desperation from earlier was justified when Mai could feel his arousal pressing against her stomach. It was then that she realized just what was happening, and forced herself to push him away, even though her body was screaming not to.

"Don't," she half-moaned, reaching behind herself to grasp the doorknob, "I'm going to bed.."

"You don't want to go to bed," he whispered.

She stared at Seto silently, briefly wondering whether or not she _should_ stay; maybe she would be able to muster up the strength to have sex with him and still be able to leave in the morning if she so wished to.

"You want me," he continued, "I could feel it in the way you were kissing me, and how you're looking at me right now."

She didn't admit it, but she wouldn't deny it either.

"I'm not trying to make you stay forever," he went on, "just for tonight."

"I.. do you _promise_ that you're not going to make me stay any longer than I want to?" she asked somewhat warily, even though a part of her believed that he was being honest.

"Hai. I promise."

Rather than opening the door, she twisted the doorknob in the opposite direction to lock it. Seto smiled at her, but neither of them moved yet.

"I'm going to kiss you again," he warned, and Mai said nothing against it. When he stepped closer again, she was ready for him-- lips seeking out his before he had a chance to lean close enough to initiate anything himself. Seto tried to push her back against the door again, but Mai wouldn't let him.

"No," she broke away from him, mumbling, "bed."

He seemed just slightly annoyed at that, but Mai felt herself getting hoisted up and into his arms and he took her over to the bed; he sat down on the edge and lowered Mai onto his lap. She was slightly amused when Seto grabbed her hips to keep her from moving when she tried to get herself comfortable.

"You said that you don't know English, right?" he asked, taking her off guard.

"What? No, I know--" wait, she _had_ t old him that she didn't, right? "Ah.. no, I don't."

He smiled-- actually _smiled_-- like had done before, and it made her feel _something_ that she couldn't quite describe; she was shivering when he leaned in to kiss her, and she was surprised when she didn't feel his lips against hers. "Seto?" she asked.

"Mm, yes?" his voice was directly beside her ear, and he was speaking very quietly.

"What are you doing?"

He laughed, rubbing his cheek against hers-- she could feel him grinning, "Nothing."

"Liar."

"I am not a liar."

She started to grin somewhat herself, "You so are."

His laughter subsided, "Think what you will."

"I'm going to, thanks."

"That's good," Seto muttered, before the two of them fell silent for what was definitely not the first time that night.. or day.. or whatever it was-- Mai wasn't entirely sure.

"You're not going to make me do all the work, are yo--" her sentence was cut short when she felt Seto's hand slip inside her shirt, quite obviously seeking out her breasts; her back arched, pushing her chest against his hand when it reached its destination. "I'll take that as a 'no'," she groaned, biting down on her lower lip.

He was whispering something in her ear, but she couldn't quite make out what it was-- she was far too busy focusing on his gently massaging hand. Even through her bra, his touch was enough to set her nerves on fire.

".. far as an eternity.." was a little excerpt of what Seto was saying to her that she actually managed to catch, and though her mind already wasn't making much sense of anything, she knew that those words would have been confusing even if she _was_ thinking properly.

It took her another few seconds than it should have to form coherent words, "Mm.. what was that?" she questioned, and he didn't respond, just continued to say whatever he'd been telling her already. Now frustrated, she forced her mind away from what she was currently feeling and to the voice that was breathing down her neck.

".. I'll never leave you behind, or treat you unkind.." he said, and the tone he was using with her was a very normal one, but it made her breath catch in her throat-- not because of the context of his words, but because she understood what he was doing: he was translating. He thought that she didn't know English, and he was translating the song-- which she now realized was probably on repeat-- that he had put on earlier.

"Seto.." she gasped out, pressing herself even closer to his body. There was something about him doing that that she just found so extremely.. _romantic_, and it just turned her on more than she already was.

He leaned back, sitting up somewhat properly and flashing Mai a smile that appeared to be somewhat smug and gave her a fleeting suspicion that he was up to something.

_"And with a tear in my eye, _

_Give me the sweetest goodbye_

_That I ever did receive."_

Mai was starting to get rather fidgety, and she was squirming around on Seto's lap-- he tried to stop her with the hand he still had on her hip and his grip on her breast roughened considerably, though it was really no use. There was something just building up inside of her chest, and when she felt him hard against the inside of her thigh she just let it out and moaned-- quietly, but so deeply that she was sure she felt Seto shiver from it.

_"Pushing forward and_

_Arching back; _

_Bring me closer to heart attack._

_Say good bye and just_

_Fly away._

_When you come back,_

_I have something to say."_

She felt the head of his hand leave her breast as the skin of her stomach went cold and her vision was momentarily obscured when Seto tugged on her shirt, pulling it up and over her head; he threw it somewhere across the room. She only remained cold for a moment before his hands were running across her abdomen and around to her back, searing her flesh wherever he touched her; he skillfully removed her bra, and it found its way across to where her shirt had gone.

_"How does it feel to know_

_You'll never have to be alone,_

_When you get home?_

_There must be some place here_

_That only you and I could go,"_

He flashed her an award winning grin and kissed her quickly, "So that I can show you how I feel." he moved out of the way when Mai tried to get him to kiss her again.

"Don't do this to me, Seto," she whined.

His grin brightened, "Do what to you?"

"Make me want to fuck you."

"When _don't_ you want to fuck me?" he laughed.

She hesitated, and mainly because she was antsy enough for it to be hard to concentrate on one thing. "When you hit me," was her answer.

"Well, I'm not hitting you right now."

She kissed him, somehow gathering up the willpower to make it quick, "I know, and that's the problem."

One of his eyebrows rose, "What? You want me to?"

"No! No," she shook her head, hoping it would work as an emphasis that she didn't want that, "I just don't think that we should do this right now-- _oh_." she went tense when she felt Seto's lips at her neck, slowly kissing and nipping downward.

"Seto, don't.. I'm trying to tell you something," she muttered; groaning in annoyance when he wouldn't stop. _Goddamn him_, she mentally cursed as his lips found their way down between her breasts. Grabbing onto his shoulders, she wanted to push him away but ended up using him as some kind of grip on reality. Though her mind was going foggy again, it became apparent that this was Seto's way of keeping her from scolding him.

She could feel his muscles flex beneath her hands as he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull the lower half of his body as close to him as he could. Running her hands down and along his back, Mai was slightly confused to find that he seemed so much colder compared to her, but was still quite content with the feel of his skin against hers.

"Seto..," she moaned quietly, not at all trying to gain his attention, although she did anyway. He lifted his head away from her chest, shooting her a questioning look.

"You still want me to stop?"

She stared at him like he was crazy, and spoke in a similar fashion, "No I don't, you tricky bastard."

Seto seemed quite proud of himself, "You know you love it."

"No," she went serious, "I love _you_."

He tilted his head to the side, sounding as if he hadn't already known that, "Then why will you leave?"

"Can we talk about this later?"

It seemed like he was getting a bit angry, "I want to know _now_."

"You _know_ why, Seto."

"No, I don't."

".. I'm leaving because I hate you."

He scoffed, "This from the woman who just said she loves me.."

Mai sighed, "Just because I love you doesn't mean I'm not allowed to hate you. Are you going to kiss me again?"

Seto didn't say anything, just frowned at her silently for a few seconds before moving forward to kiss her. He was interrupted mere centimetres from her lips when the bedroom door flew open.

"Mama!" it was Rayne.

Seto's eyes narrowed, glaring over Mai's shoulder at the little girl in the doorway before leaning back to give his wife the same look, "What the fuck?"

"I locked the door.." she mumbled. At least.. she _thought_ she had locked the door.. damnit. Mai glanced back over her shoulder at Rayne, who looked like she had recently been crying, ".. What's wrong?"

The girl sniffled, and she looked devastated about something, "I think I killed Sara's parents.."


End file.
